It can be difficult to recognize self-gaslighting because it is a mindset that you may think is normal. Gaslighting is a very serious form of psychological abuse that can be deeply absorbed.
As a wellness coach, I do awareness training and today we will be talking about the four ways that you gaslight yourself. Are you aware of how gaslighting happens? I do believe that most of us are unaware of this.
So, let’s dive into defining gaslighting. According to Google, Gaslighting is a verb form. It’s an action that happens and it says to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their sanity.
Gaslighting happens when an abuser tries to control a victim. So there are two people involved here, right? So somebody is doing the gaslighting and somebody is the victim of the gaslighting and they do this by twisting their sense of reality.
To give an example of gaslighting would be a partner doing something abusive and then denying it happened. Gaslighters may also convince their victims that they’re mentally unfit.
“it’s not me, it’s you, it’s all your issue”
You’ll find different examples of gaslighting, but what I wanted to talk about two tactics because it goes into what gaslighting tactics are. Gaslighting is a malicious power tactic that the gaslighter tries to utilize consciously or not. Some people are unaware they’re doing it because it’s learned behavior. So it’s to induce someone to the sense that their reactions, their perceptions, their memories, their beliefs are wrong or mistaken.
Another word for gaslighting might be manipulating, tricking, deceiving, duping, finagling, fooling, hoodwinking, misleading swindling, bamboozling.
What are the FOUR WAYS TO GASLIGHT YOURSELF?
- Dismissing yourself
I’m not good enough for that. This internal dialog is dismissing yourself from that thought while you gaslight yourself. - Denying yourself
You tend to seek the good of others before looking out for yourself. - Devaluing yourself
How many times a day do you deny or devalue yourself? Someone may say, “Oh, I love your dress!” And you dismiss by responding, “Oh this old thing?” You just devalued yourself. The best thing to do in that situation is to complete the energetic circuit. Somebody gave you a compliment, you receive it by saying, “Oh, thank you!” Done. Thank you is a complete sentence. - Discrediting yourself
We set the stage on how people treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Did you hear that right? Read that sentence again.
We set the stage on how people treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
So, when you receive a compliment or a gift, we may downplay it and inside may feel we’re not good enough to receive. Are you able to say anything except thank you? Are you able to receive those kinds of things, because if you’re not, you could be creating gaslighting situations within yourself and this is suppressed types of behaviors that we use to survive. We use these behaviors because they worked in the past and then we do them to ourselves as a way of surviving. Repeating patterns that seemingly worked. But actually what we’re doing is we’re allowing other people to do it to us.
We set the stage on how people treat us by the way we treat ourselves.
So if you are dismissing, denying, devaluing, discrediting yourself, become aware. Pay attention to your inner dialog. Don’t say, “oh God, there I go, I’m so stupid, I’m doing it again.” What I’d like for you to do is catch yourself and recognize, “Oh!, There’s where I’m denying myself or discrediting myself, I’m aware of it now.”
With awareness comes change!
So now, I am challenging you to create some space between you and the behavior, because you are not your behavior. My intention is with this is awareness. Become aware of when you are dismissing, denying, devaluing, and discrediting you.
